Tuesday, 29 September 2015

Rise Above the Criticism to Succeed


"When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical."   -Unknown

We come across hundreds of people who constantly criticize other people or person for no reason. Even I found myself doing that most of the times. Soon I realized that this particular habit was actually keeping me from achieving my dreams. Why? Because to criticize someone/something we need to:
  1. Spend valuable time & effort in observing the person/situation
  2. Analyze the situation so as to find the areas to be critical about
  3. And finally verbalize ideas so that what you say makes sense to the other person
In short, criticizing requires a good deal of creativity & a lot of deliberation.
There can be thousands of reasons for people to criticize others. I have listed the most important ones below:
  1. They are insecure & often have inferiority.
  2. They are frustrated with their own shortcomings.
  3. They suffer from low self esteem.
  4. They are jealous of the people they criticize.
  5. They have a constant urge for approval from others.
  6. They want to project themselves are more accomplished than the people they criticize.
This list is not exhaustive, I am sure anyone can find a few more reasons to add to this list. But that is not the point. This particular habit actually consumes the very resource that is needed to make our lives more rewarding. Many philosophers have written about the impact of thought process on the life of an individual. If this habit of criticism takes away a major chunk of this resource, we are bound to fall behind.
"Feeling of Low Self Worth" is the root cause that engenders such behavior  Through these feelings, our sub-conscious tries to convey us about our areas of improvement. But improvement requires us to put in efforts that come to fruition over the period of time. One has to get out of the comfort zone in order to make a lasting change.
But most people aren't ready to do that. Instead, they look for a quick fix & instant gratification. They go on to criticizing very people they should be admiring. In few minutes, they prove anyone wrong by throwing some intriguing arguments. This satisfies their emotional need, but only for a moment.
Next time, when the similar feeling resurfaces, it creates the same behavioral response. Eventually, they get used to it and criticizing becomes a second nature. Over the period of time these people become so bitter that it becomes nearly impossible to be around with them. These people struggle with their careers & relationships. They fall into the vicious cycle of 'feeling inadequate-criticizing-feeling further inadequate".
We need to be careful about developing such a destructive habit. Whenever I notice such feelings developing inside me, I immediately go to work on myself and strive make myself a better person.

"Criticism of others is futile and if you indulge in it often you should be warned that it can be fatal to your career."
                                                                                                                                                                                -Dale Carnegie 

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